Existence
by Jemlela
Summary: Tony is hurting over hearing his father in a news interview claiming that he doesn't exist. Can the team figure out what is wrong and help him through it? PLEASE READ AND REVIEW
1. EXISTANCE

Tony walked into his empty apartment after a long day at work. To make the day worse it had been raining all day and their crime scene had been rained out so there evidence has been contaminated. Abby will sure have her work cut out for tomorrow. He took the pizza he had gotten last night for dinner out of the refrigerator. All he really wanted to do is go to sleep.

Tony decided to turn on the news as he ate his pizza.

_So we are back with the biggest business Tycoon out of Long Island, Anthony DiNozzo Senior." The news caster announced._

Tony rolled his eyes, what a way to make this day worse. He should have just turned it off.

"_So Mr. DiNozzo, do you have any children?"_

"_No, I'm afraid that I was never blessed with any children."_

"_That is a shame?"_

"_Yes it is; I would have loved to have a son. Someone who could carry on my name and run the family business. But it was never in the cards for me."_

"_Thank You for joining us tonight."_

Tony was shocked he couldn't believe what he heard. The guy had a son; one he never wanted, but a son nevertheless. He denied that Tony even existed. Tony look disgusted at the piece of pizza. Tony tossed the whole pizza in the garbage and went to bed. His night was plagued with horrible dreams. It is one thing to pretend that his son didn't exist, but to go on television and tell the world that he didn't exist hurt more than he even thought was possible.

* * *

The next morning Tony went for a run. He didn't care that it was still raining hard. Running gives him a chance to think and after last night he really needs to think. Tony ran for 30 minutes before returning home to get ready for work. He usually runs for longer, but it was raining too hard, he couldn't see 2 feet in front of his face. He walked in to his apartment wet and cold. A long hot shower warmed him up a bit, but he still hasn't figured out what to do.

Tony walked into the Navy Yard; he couldn't get his mask up. That stupid announcement on the news last night shattered his mask. Now he has to face the team without it. He knows one thing for sure; this is going to be one hell of a day. He would resign and move on, except he has no place to go.

Tony sat down at his desk and turned his computer on. No one had arrived. It should be at least an hour before Gibbs comes to work. Maybe in that time period he can get his mask back up; but every time he tries he just keeps his father's words in his head denying his existence. He always knew that his father could throw him away, who's to say Gibbs won't do the same thing. He never believed it before, but now he isn't so sure. Before last night he existed.

Gibbs came in and went straight to Vance's office without even stopping off in the bullpen. Ziva and McGee came to work; they were surprised that Tony was at work before them. He didn't look up when they walked in, he didn't even acknowledge them.

"Morning Tony." Ziva said

"Morning." McGee added.

"Morning." Tony answered never taking his eyes off the computer.

Ziva and McGee shared a look before sitting at their own desk.

"So Tony have you found any leads yet?" McGee asked.

"Yes, possibly. Agent McGee if you can get into Sergeant Jacobs financials, we may find a reason as to why he was killed." Tony answered in a monotone voice.

McGee wonders why he called him so formal, but he decided to ignore it for now and do what he asked. He found evidence of embezzlement. He looked over at Tony. He was so serious, no smiles, no jokes, no laughing. McGee decided to go downstairs and talk to Abby, maybe she knows what is going on with Tony.

* * *

McGee walked into Abby's lab. Her music was blaring. He walked up to the stereo to turn it off so that she will hear him. McGee hit the off button on the stereo. Abby didn't notice as she was up to her eyeballs in evidence from yesterday's crime scene.

"Hey, I was listening to that." Abby yelled.

"I need to talk to you."

"Talk! Look around you; I don't have time to talk." Abby yelled.

"It's Tony; something is going on with him."

Abby's interest was immediately peeked.

"Talk."

"Tony is being so serious and his voice is so monotone. He is very withdrawn."

"Is it more hinky than his attitude on his birthday?" Abby asked concerned.

"He called me Agent McGee; he has **never** called me Agent Mcgee. The entire morning he has not taken his eyes off his computer. He only mentioned lead he may have found for me to check out."

* * *

Gibbs walked into the lab to see what Abby had found out so far. He was surprised to see McGee down there.

"McGee, you are supposed to be working!" Gibbs growled.

"We found a lead; it looks like Sergeant Jacobs was embezzling. It is possible that the murder is connected to the embezzlement." McGee answered.

"So why are you down here?"

"Tony is being really hinky, worse than birthday hinky." Abby told him.

Gibbs was concerned. Tony always withdraws on his birthday. They always have a nice quiet dinner with just the team. The whole day he just looks like a kicked puppy. Gibbs remembers the first time Kate joined them for Tony's birthday; she had been surprised that he wasn't going all out. He couldn't imagine anything being worse than birthday hinky.

Gibbs was about to ask Abby what was going on with Tony when his phone rang.

"Gibbs."

"Tony was coughing up blood before he collapsed." Ziva told him.


	2. COMA

Abby started crying when she heard from Ziva that Tony was coughing up blood before he collapsed. It just made his hinky behavior that much more upsetting. Gibbs was immediately on the phone with Ducky to have him meet them in the bullpen.

Everyone arrived in the bullpen. Ziva was kneeling beside an unconscious Tony. Duck immediately began examining Tony.

"Jethro, we need to get him to Bethesda. He is burning up."

"I will call an ambulance." Ziva offered.

"No, that will take too long. I'll drive. Duck you come with me and keep an eye on him. The rest of you meet us there." Gibbs ordered.

* * *

Dr. Brad Pitt met them at the entrance. Tony was barely alive, he was having trouble breathing. Brad took over and took Tony into a private emergency room. Gibbs paced the waiting room, Ducky sat in the chair watching him pace. Abby, Ziva and Tim came running into the waiting room.

"Bossman, how is he?" Abby cried.

"We haven't heard yet. But you know Tony, he can get through anything." Gibbs comforted.

"Are you sure?" Abby asked wearily.

"Yes, I have not given Tony permission to die on me; you know he won't disobey a direct order."

Brad walked up to them. "Gibbs can I talk to you over here?"

* * *

Gibbs walked up to Brad and he took Gibbs into an empty exam room. Brad really didn't want to be the one who give him the bad news.

"How is Tony?" Gibbs asked.

"He has pneumonia, but that isn't the worse part." Brad started.

"What could be worse than pneumonia with his lungs?" Gibbs asked.

"He slipped into a coma. He is not fighting. Unless he begins to fight this, he will die. We have done all we can, the rest is up to him." Brad responded.

Gibbs felt like someone had punched him in the gut. Brad left to check on Tony. Gibbs just stood there in shock; he can't even imagine losing Tony like this. Well he knows one thing for sure, he is going to go in there and rip hip him a new one.

"What the hell do you think you are doing? I did not give you permission to die. You are going to fight this and you will win, I will not expect anything less from you. You hear me DiNozzo; that is a direct order."

Gibbs looked at the machines and saw there was no change. Abby had said that Tony had been acting more hinky than he usually does on his birthday. Whatever the reason behind his hinky behavior is somehow tied into his reason to not want to fight; and it is not like they can ask him what is going on.

"You listen to me DiNozzo and you listen good; we are not through with conversation yet." He growled.

* * *

Gibbs went back to the waiting room where the others were waiting for word.

"How is he?" Abby cried.

"Tony has pneumonia and he slipped into coma." Gibbs answered.

"But he will be alright, yes?" Ziva asked.

"I don't know. He is refusing to fight the illness. He has given up and we don't know why."

"No, he has to fight; he just has to." Abby cried.

* * *

A week had passed and there had been no change in Tony's condition. The pneumonia has cleared up, but Tony won't wake up. Gibbs only leaves Tony's side to shower and for coffee. Brad put an extra bed in there for Gibbs to sleep on. The team usually comes to visit Tony and brings Gibbs some food.

"Are we any closer to finding out what caused his hinky behavior before he collapsed?" Gibbs asked Abby one day when she came to visit.

"No, boss. I'm afraid not, but I will not give up." Abby said and then turned to her unconscious friend. "You hear me, I won't give up. So you better not either."

Brad came into the room to check on his patient. No change.

"He can stay in a coma until his body gives out. Even with the IV's we have had him on; he is still losing a lot of weight. We can't seem to stop it."

Abby and Brad left the room leaving Gibbs alone with Tony.

"Come on Tony, you need to fight. You need to wake up. You survived the pneumonic plague, are you really going to let something like pneumonia beat you." He begged.

"Leroy, come let's get you some real food." A voice said.

Gibbs looked up to see his father standing there.

"No, I need to stay with him." Gibbs argued.

"You need a break, you aren't doing him any good if when he finally decides to wake up, and he sees that you are exhausted." Jackson said dragging Gibbs away from the unconscious agent.

"It is okay Jethro; I will sit with Anthony while you are gone." Ducky offered.

* * *

Gibbs came back 3 hours later; he walked in the middle of Ducky telling him one of his stories. Jackson decided to stay with his son in Tony's room for support. He wasn't there for him when he lost Shannon and Kelly. There had been a time where he didn't think he would ever see his son again. Maybe he wouldn't have if there hadn't been that case that brought Leroy to Stillwater.

Jackson really hopes that this young man finds a way to survive this, because if he doesn't than neither will Leroy.

"I don't know what is going on in that head of yours as to why you won't fight for your life. But this is me begging you to fight, begging you to wake up." Gibbs pleaded desperately to the young man he loves as a son.

Tony's machines started going haywire before they stopped completely.

BEEEEEEEEEEP…..


	3. NEWS REPORT

AN: I wrote the chapter right before I went to bed. During the night I realized that I mixed up DNR and DOR. DOR is Drop on Request. It was used in Officer and a Gentlemen. I had to go straight to work the next day, so I couldn't fix it until I got home. Anyway, It is all fixed now.

* * *

Brad and a nurse came running in with a crash cart. If Tony had a DNR in his file they would have just let him code out. But he doesn't and Brad wasn't going to just let him die without one hell of fight. Brad used the paddles and by the third time Tony's heart was beating again. Gibbs let out the breath he was holding.

Brad checked on Tony's condition, it was the same as before he crashed. No better, but no worse.

"I don't know how much longer his body can hold up. His only sure way of surviving this is for him to wake up." Brad told Gibbs.

Gibbs didn't respond, he couldn't. For a moment there when Tony's heart stopped, he could have sworn his did to. The team has always been his family since he lost Shannon and Kelly. Losing Kate the way they did was bad enough, but to lose Tony like this is tearing his heart apart.

Gibbs leaned down close to Tony's ear. "You listen to me DiNozzo. I am ordering you to wake up."

"Leroy, he will wake up when he is ready." Jackson said trying to calm his son.

"If we leave it up to him, he might choose not to wake up. As Abby would put it, he was acting very hinky before his collapse. I just know that it is tied to his reason to not to fight."

"Why what happened?" Jackson asked.

"That is just it, we don't know what happened. We had a long day at work investigating a murder, it was raining; but he seemed fine when he left. The next day he came in very withdrawn and collapsed from a bad case of pneumonia. I didn't even see him that morning. I went straight up to the directors' office. Afterwards I went to see what Abby may have gotten with the evidence so far. I wasn't there for him when he needed me." Gibbs tried to explain to his father before turning to his agent lying in the bed. "When you wake up and I know you will; you and I will spend some quality time together and I will get to the bottom of what is bothering you."

"Leroy, why don't you and Tony come to Stillwater when he is released? Getting him away from here will do him good." Jackson offered.

Abby and Brad walked into the room. Abby was carrying a laptop.

"So Boss how is he?" Abby asked her voice cracking, the black streaks on her face from crying with her mascara.

"He crashed a while ago, but we got him back. He is still in a coma though. What is with the laptop?" Gibbs asked.

"I think I may have found out why Tony was being hinky." Abby began.

"Well?" Gibbs barked impatiently.

"I think it would be better if I just show you." She answered the tears streaming down her face.

"Would it be alright if I watched too? It could be beneficial for me to know why he isn't fighting," Brad asked.

"Sure." Gibbs responded.

"We should go somewhere else to watch this. If I am right about this, it would make him worse if he hears it." Abby told them.

"We can go to my office." Brad offered.

Gibbs didn't want to leave Tony but he had to know what happened. So he agreed.

* * *

Brad took Gibbs, Jackson and Abby down to his office. Abby sat up the laptop while everyone waited.

_So we are back with the biggest business Tycoon out of Long Island, Anthony DiNozzo Senior." The news caster announced._

"_So Mr. DiNozzo, do you have any children?"_

"_No, I'm afraid that I was never blessed with any children."_

"_That is a shame?"_

"_Yes it is; I would have loved to have a son. Someone who could carry on my name and run the family business. But it was never in the cards for me."_

"_Thank You for joining us tonight."_

Abby saw it once already it wasn't any easier the second time around. "If Tony saw that, he had to be hurting. His father going on television and claiming that he doesn't have any children. He pretty much said Tony didn't exist."

"That would explain why he doesn't want to fight. He probably thinks no one wants him." Gibbs answered.

"Tony must have gone for a run in the rain. That must be what made him so sick." Abby added.

"I can't believe that Tony would do that, he knows to be weary of cold weather. That it will be hell on his lungs. Surly he would have more sense than to run when it is raining cats and dogs." Brad answered.

"When Tony is upset over his father, his common sense seems to go right out the window. I have seen Tony run himself to the point of exhaustion after his father hung up on him." Gibbs commented.

Gibbs couldn't even begin to imagine the emotional pain Tony must be in. All he knows is that he wants to kill that SOB for the way he hurt Tony.

"I'm going to kill him. He threw a wonderful person like Tony away and for what." Gibbs yelled seething.

"Gibbs don't!" Abby cried.

Jackson grabbed a hold of his son. "I know you are hurting because Tony is hurting. Bur ruining the rest of your life isn't going to help Tony. You know the problem now. Try to get through to him, let him know that he is loved and wanted. Forget about his father, he is just a hateful, spiteful SOB and no matter what happens that won't change. Just concentrate on Tony."

"Fine I will let it go for now but if Tony dies; I will be all over him like a moth to a flame. By the time I'm through with him he is going to wish he was dead." Gibbs answered the anger clear in his voice.

* * *

DNR= Do Not Resuscitate


	4. AWAKE

Gibbs went back to DiNozzo's room. He is going to get through to that boy if it is the last thing he ever does. He got close to DiNozzo ear.

"You listen to me DiNozzo and listen good. I know you are hurting over what he said, but that is not a reason to give up on your life. You are stronger than that, you are a fighter! So Fight, fight for your life."

Tony moved his head away from Gibbs voice, but still didn't open his eyes. Gibbs saw him move away giving a first clue that Tony is alive and is trying to wake up. Gibbs pressed the buzzer button to alert Brad.

"Come on Tony, you can do it. Open those eyes." Gibbs ordered.

Tony opened his eyes blinking fast as he tried to keep them open.

"Attaboy DiNozzo, I knew you could do it."

Brad came running in the room. He already had his answer to Tony's number one question.

"Hey I am glad to see you awake." Brad said as he checked Tony's vitals.

While Tony was now awake he was unresponsive and it was concerning Brad and Gibbs.

"I will be back to check on you in a little while." Brad said as he walked out of the room.

"Tony, I am going to get some coffee; you want anything." Gibbs asked.

Tony didn't answer; he just stared up at the ceiling.

"I am worried about him." Brad commented to Gibbs. "I went in there ready to tell Tony that I would release him tomorrow or even tonight. But he didn't ask. He didn't say anything at all. I have never seen Tony this quiet. I thought that when he woke up he would be begging to go home like he did when he had the plague. But it didn't even matter to him that he was in the hospital or how it happened."

"I know. He was so un-Tony like. This is worse than I have ever seen before when it comes to him."

"So what do we do?" Brad asked.

"You said you were ready to release him, does that still hold true?" Gibbs asked.

"It does. I think that in his current state of mind the hospital is the worse place for him. Here it is too easy for him to give up and just waste away."

"I was planning on taking him to Stillwater for a couple of weeks. Is he still able to go?" Gibbs asked.

"Tony will be in a wheelchair for a little while. After being in a coma for a week and with his current weight loss, he would be too unstable to be on his feet over a short period of time. He should do some walking, but not long and not too far, the rest of the time he should be in bed or the wheelchair. As long as Ducky is around to keep an eye on his health, he is good to go." Brad explained.

Gibbs got his coffee before going back to Tony's room; Tony was still staring at the ceiling. He didn't even turn when the door opened.

"Brad said you can leave tonight. You will be coming home with me and then we will be going to Stillwater while you recover."

Tony didn't say anything; he didn't give any response to say that he was even listening. Gibbs never thought he would see the day where Tony would turn into a mute.

Gibbs left to get everything ready for their trip to Stillwater. He called Abby to go to Tony's and pack a bag for him. Abby wanted to see Tony before they left. Gibbs didn't think that was such a good idea, Tony wouldn't be able to handle Abby's hyper attitude right now.

* * *

By 4:00 that evening Tony was ready to be release. He was sitting in his wheelchair in his room. He hasn't said one word to anybody since he woke up. Abby came with Gibbs to pick up Tony, she just had to see him.

"Ready Tony." Gibbs asked.

Tony just looked straight ahead.

"Bye Tony; I love you. Never forget that." Abby said.

Tony gave no response if he heard her, but he did. He thinks that everyone is just going throw him away eventually. One day that other shoe will drop, it will hurt a lot less then if he pushes everyone away now.

Brad walked into Tony's room with his discharge papers. "Alright Tony, you are good to go. Enjoy Stillwater. I will see you when you get back."

Gibbs pushed Tony's wheelchair. "Goodbye Brad thanks for everything."

Brad watched them go. He sure hopes that Gibbs can help Tony come through the pain he is in.

Tony spent the whole car ride to Stillwater staring out the window. Gibbs was really concerned about Tony. The Tony he knows and loves so much is so full of life. This Tony has no life in him at all. He would take a quiet Tony without the mask as long as he was healthy and not so depressed. One way or another he was going to pull Tony through this. He will never give up on him.

* * *

Jack had left for home earlier that day to get things ready for Tony. He had his neighbor install a ramp over his stairs to get Tony's wheelchair into the house. The ramp can come off anytime, as soon as Tony regains his strength. He saw Leroy's car pull up. Jack went to Tony's door and opened it for him. Gibbs got the wheelchair out of the trunk and helped his father get Tony out of the car and into the wheelchair. Jack pushed Tony into the house. Gibbs followed carrying their bags.

"Abby even packed your DVD's for you. Want to watch one?" Gibbs asked as they parked Tony's wheelchair in the living room.

He still got no answer from Tony. Gibbs handed put the DVD album in his lap.

"Here you go if you decide you want to watch one. I am going to help Dad with dinner."

In the kitchen Gibbs and Jack spoke quietly as they got dinner together. Gibbs told his father how Tony still hasn't said anything since waking up. They know he need time to heal emotionally, but seeing him this depressed and withdrawn is killing everyone. Tony barely touched his dinner, soup and salad. Something easy on Tony's stomach. After dinner Gibbs put Tony to bed.

"Tony even if you never talk again. I will still be here for you and I will **always** love you. I will **never** give up on you and I will **never** throw you away." Gibbs told him sitting down next to Tony on the bed.

After a few minutes more of silence between the two of them, Gibbs left after giving Tony a kiss on his forehead.

Tears streamed down Tony face.


	5. TALKING

As Gibbs got ready for bed, his gut was telling him to check on Tony. He walked down to the room Tony was sleeping in. Tony was in the midst of some nightmare, he was silently thrashing in bed. Gibbs rushed to his side.

"Come on Tony, wake up. It's okay. You are okay. I have got your six. Come on wake up." Gibbs repeated over and over again as he took Tony in his arms.

Tony finally calmed down and opened his eyes. His face wet with tears. He pulled away from Gibbs embarrassed.

"Hey are you okay?" Gibbs asked.

No answer.

"You want to tell me what the nightmare was about?"

No answer.

"Tony it will be okay. I will stay with you all night."

Tony still didn't answer. Gibbs lied down in the bed next to Tony holding him in his arms. Tony didn't want Gibbs with him; it will hurt that much more later on when Gibbs throws him away like everyone else does.

Gibbs felt Tony go tense. He had a feeling why. "I will not throw you away. You are the son I always wanted. I love you so much and so does the team. We will get you through this. I know you don't believe me, but I want you to trust me at least a little."

"I want to, I really do; but I can't." Tony spoke in almost a whisper.

Gibbs was really happy to hear Tony voice. He didn't know when or if he would ever hear it again. "That is okay. It is. I will give you a lot of reasons to trust me. I will tell you every day until you believe me."

"I haven't felt this bad since my father disowned me and sent me to military school. He told the school that I was their problem now. Not to contact him for any reason, that he was through with me. I would see the other kids with their family and it just made me feel empty inside. I had no home, no family, not even somebody who cares. It would have been so easy to crawl into a corner and never come out. But I didn't, I got on with my life. I was all alone, but I survived until now."

Gibbs just held Tony as he listen to him talk.

"I put all that pain behind me and got on with my life. I knew that I would be alone for the rest of my life. That no one would ever care about me. I mean if my own father didn't care why should anyone else. Then I met you, you were the first person to believe in me when I didn't even believe in me. I was doing just fine until I heard that interview. He said that he didn't have any kids. He implied I never existed and it brought up all that pain. I couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't think about anything else other than how much pain I was in."

"Tony, I still and will always believe in you."

"That might change. Why should you believe in me when no one else does?" Tony asked in a quiet voice.

Gibbs knew that Tony really believed what he was saying. He has been thrown away so many times that he doesn't know who to trust. Gibbs got off the bed to face Tony. Tony wouldn't even look at him. Gibbs put his finger under Tony's chin to lift up his face.

"You listen to me Tony. It will not change. I will not give up on you ever. I will tell you every day in every way I can think of until you understand. You are the son I want; I will always be here for you no matter what."

Tony lowered his eyes to look at his lap. He really wants to believe him, but he doesn't know how. Gibbs could tell Tony was having trouble believing him, but that is okay. Tony is alive and awake and they have plenty of time to spend together. One day he will get Tony to understand how much he loved.

"The very last thing my father said to me as he left me at Rhode Island Military Academy was 'Mark my words, one day you will end up in the gutter.' I'll think about that ever so often."

"Tony you will not end up in the gutter. You are one of the strongest most amazing people I have ever met."

"I almost did that one time when we were looking for that Marine Atlas. Remember it was right after Chris Pacci was murdered. I was drugged and kidnapped by that waitress at the bar. When I woke up I was with Atlas in some sewer. After I got him out of that room as we were wondering through the sewer being chased by the guy we thought was responsible."

"I remember. I was so worried we would not find you in time. I was so grateful when Ducky had told me that the other victims had died of starvation."

"I remember thinking when I was down there was what my father had said and that he is right. For weeks afterward, I couldn't get those words out of my head. I just kept dreaming that I was going to die down there."

Gibbs breathed in deep breath, he didn't want to get upset and have Tony think it was directed at him and not that louse he was unfortunate to have for a father.

"You did nothing wrong. You found Atlas, got him out and kept him alive. You never gave up on getting him out of there. If the unfortunate had happen your father would still be wrong. Everything he said to you or about you is a lie. Now scoot over so I can lie next to you. I will stay with you all night." Gibbs explained.

Tony moved over and let Gibbs in his bed. Gibbs laid there rubbing Tony's back like he did with Kelly whenever she was upset or had a nightmare. Eventually Tony fell asleep. Gibbs knows that Tony has a hard road ahead emotionally, but he and the team will be there every step of the way.

* * *

_**Please Please Review. They Make me So Happy**_


	6. ROAD TO RECOVERY

_**I would like to thank everyone for all their reviews and alerts. This is the last chapter and I would love to get to 100 reviews. Please help me get there. I would really apprecite it.**_

* * *

Tony slept peacefully with Gibbs by his side. He can't remember the last time he slept this well. He still has his doubt that this will last, but he is willing to trust Gibbs until he gives him a reason not to. Tony wanted to get up and hit the head, as he got out of bed he collapsed. Something was wrong with his legs. Gibbs was alerted when Tony collapsed and helped him back into bed.

"What is wrong with my legs?" He cried.

"Nothing is wrong with them; they are weak from the time you were in coma. We will work at it and they will get stronger. Now, do you need to use the head?" Gibbs asked.

Tony looked down before nodding. Gibbs knew he was embarrassed about needing help, he knew the best way to deal with it is to ignore the embarrassment. He helped Tony into his wheelchair and into the head. He stayed outside the bathroom while Tony took care of his business.

Jack had breakfast ready when Tony came to breakfast. Tony smiled shyly and accepted the breakfast.

"Every day for 10 minutes, 3 times a day; we will work on strengthening your legs until you get back to full capacity." Gibbs told Tony.

* * *

By mid week Tony was getting stronger but he tired much more easily. He was also quieter now then Gibbs has ever seen before. Tony will answer questions when directly asked, but they were always short and straight to the point. He never volunteered anything. Gibbs hated seeing him like this and it made him want to hunt down Tony's so-called father and rip him to shred. The only thing that stops him from doing so, is knowing how much it would hurt Tony in the long run; and he doesn't want to ever do anything that is going to hurt Tony ever.

"Tony, how about this weekend we invite the team up for a barbeque?" Gibbs asked as he helped Tony into bed one night.

Tony didn't know how to answer. He was afraid of trusting the team and letting them in without his mask fully in place.

"Tony, they all love you and miss you. They are your friends. But we won't do anything until you are ready to deal."

Tony shrugged. "You can do whatever you want."

"Tony, if you want them to come; they will."

"Fine! Invite them." Tony growled before turning over in bed.

Gibbs knew that Tony didn't really want to invite the team, but he has faith in his Team to show Tony how much they care about him.

* * *

Saturday morning came. Tony sat outside in his wheelchair waiting for the arrival of his coworkers. He knows this whole day is going to be a disaster. Gibbs had told him repeatedly that they care about him but he has his doubts.

"Hi Tony!" Abby called as they got out of the car.

"Hello." He responded monotone.

"How are you doing?" Tim asked.

"I'm alive, that is enough."

The team couldn't understand what is going on with Tony even though Gibbs had warned them how down Tony is.

"Tony we love you so much. We were so worried about you when you were in a coma. All we want to do is show you how much we love you." Abby told him.

"Why, there not much to love." Tony answered without looking at anyone.

Anthony DiNozzo! How could you say that? We love you!" Abby cried.

"You don't know me; you only think you know me."

"Then tell us about you." Tim replied.

"We will still love you. That will never change." Abby added.

"Fine, I will tell you; but it will change things." Tony told them.

"My father disowned me when I was 12. He washed his hands of me and sent me off to military school. He made it clear to the adults at the military school and to me that he was through with me from here on out."

"It is an old cliché; a saying from a movie, Shawshank Redemption." Tony began and took a deep breath. "'Get busy living or get busying dying' It would have been so easy to die. The living part was much harder. I created an image to mask the loneliness I felt inside. The Tony you know was the image I created to be able to survive in a world in which I wasn't wanted or loved. That image shattered when I heard that interview. I don't even know who I am anymore."

"I know who you are Tony. You are sweet, loveable and the best friend I ever had. You are there for anyone and everyone when they sure could use a friend. You are right there and more than willing to help." Abby pointed out.

"Abby's right. You were right there for me the when I thought I shot the cop. I was losing it and even considered resigning until you showed up at my apartment. I don't know what I would have done without you. We will always be your friends no matter what." Tim added.

"You rescued me from Somalia. You initiated and planned the rescue when I didn't give you a reason to help me. You were still there for me after I messed up over the whole Rivkin mess. For that I could never thank you enough. Now all you have to do is sit back, relax and let us love you. Let us be there for you like you were always there for us." Ziva finished.

Tony heard what they were saying and every part of him wants to believe them, but he isn't so sure he can. The most he can do, is give it a try. So he looked up at them with tears running down his face and nodded that he would give them a chance.

"Oh Tony, please don't cry. We will never let you down. You are my brother and I love you so much. You can trust that and me and them. We will always be there for you and we will never throw you away like that so-called father of yours who has no idea what a really wonderful person you are." Abby cried as she wrapped her arms around him.

Gibbs, Ducky and Jack watched Abby, Tim and Ziva with Tony. He is going to be okay, it may take time but embraced by their love he will get through this.


End file.
